Music maestro AR Rahman has spoken for the first time about contemplating suicide, almost every day up until the age of 25.
The Oscar-winning composer was cited in Hindustan Times saying, “Up until 25, I used to think about suicide. Most of us feel they are not good enough. Because I lost my father, there was this void… There were so many things happening. (But) that in a way made me more fearless. Death is a permanent thing for everyone. Since everything created has an expiry date, so why be afraid of anything?”
Rahman said that he turned around his life when he built his recording studio in his backyard in Chennai. He added, “Before that, things were dormant so may be it (the feeling) manifested then. Because of my father’s death and the way he was working, I didn’t do many movies. I got 35 movies and I did two. Everyone wondered ‘How are you going to survive? You have everything, grab it.’ I was 25 then. I couldn’t do that. It’s like eating everything. You become numb. So even if you eat small meals, make it fulfilling.”