Irrfan Khan on illness: “I was very, very vulnerable”

Currently undergoing treatment for neuroendocrine tumour, Irrfan Khan has been out of the spotlight but has recently opened up about the illness and how he is feeling.

“There are challenges which life throws at you. But I have started believing in the way this condition has tested me, really, really tested me in all aspects — physical, emotional and spiritual. It has put me in a rapture state. Initially I was shaken. I didn’t know. I was very, very vulnerable. But slowly, there is another way to look at things that is much more powerful and much more productive and much more healthy and I just want people to believe that nature is much more trustworthy and one must trust that. The problem with me initially was everyone was speculating whether I would be out of this disease or not,” Deccan Chronicle reports the actor expressing.

He went on to add, “Because it’s not in my hand. That’s nature that will do whatever it has to do. What is in my hand, I could take care of that. And it offers so much that you feel thankful. The way it is opening your windows to look at life. I would have never reached that state even if I had done meditation for 30 years, I wouldn’t have reached it. But this sudden jolt has put me into a platform where I could look at things in a completely different manner. And for that I am really thankful. It sounds strange, but they should trust nature rather than feel sad, and trust that whatever the outcome, it will be for good and it will be for the best.”

Talking a out his treatment, Khan explained, “I have had the fourth cycle of chemo. And I have to have six cycles and then we need to have a scan. After the third cycle, the scan was positive. But we need to see after the sixth scan. And then we’ll see where it takes me. There’s no guarantee of life with anybody. My mind could always tell me to hang a kind of chip on your neck and say, “I have this disease and I could die in a few months or a year or two.” Or I could just avoid this conversation completely and live my life the way it offers me. And it offers so much. I admit I was walking around with blinders. I couldn’t see what it offered me.”

Though he may not be looking at scripts or any kind of work for a while, the actor’s recently released ‘Puzzle’ (2018) opposite Kelly Macdonald is being received well by audiences and critics alike. His latest release ‘Karwaan’ is also out at cinemas now.